I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's Friday. Sex?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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