I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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