Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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