Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
