I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
