The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
