im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
