I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize