So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
