Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
