Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
