Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
