I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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