I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
