Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dick very happy bro
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
