Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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