Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
