dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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