Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
