There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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