i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
