Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
