WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
