Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
