haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
