forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
