If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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