we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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