just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
