what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
