Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
