So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
