do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just found puke in my bra..
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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