i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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