yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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