never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
