omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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