Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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