it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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