Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
