I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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