dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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