he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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