His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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