Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
