Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
