keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize