The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
