i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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