Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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