i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
